Written May 12, 2011
In what some are calling a completely dick move on his part, Mike Kelly, an IT employee at the popular website Blogger, fell asleep at his goddamn desk like a prick leaving blog users waiting around for God knows how long until they can update their blogs.
"I feel terrible about this, I really do," said that bastard Kelly, yawning like a five year old. "I had a really big lunch and got kind of sleepy."
Recalled the big baby, "I may have accidentally had decaf this morning too- oh God, what have I done?!"
Sources say if Kelly doesn't get his shit together they're going to can his ass like they did Sam McNeill last month.
"This is completely unacceptable," said Stuart Walton, representative for the now useless website. "There are people out there counting on us to provide a space where they can write down their mundane observations about current events, trite conversations with other people or amateur creative writing projects and keep checking back on them over and over again to see if someone cared."
Added Walton, "We provide a valuable service, I'm humiliated beyond words. If this happens again, mark my words, it's back to Wordpress with that asshole."