Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Glenn Beck is right about soccer

I don't watch soccer for the same reason I don't watch the Olympics - I think it's a silly excuse for arrogant jingoism filtered through a groggy lens with the help of cheap beer.

I couldn't care less which country beats the other, the sport has never inspired anything in me, except a deep sense of nonchalance.

When Beck says it doesn't matter how many bars are open for the game because Americans just don't like the sport - you know inside that he's right. It might be incredibly popular in the rest of the world, but so is disease and famine, why don't we welcome those things with open arms?

Soccer will probably never be catapulted to the popularity level that baseball, football and even basketball have in the hearts of Americans. Plus, why should it? What is your real agenda? Oh, yeah, Bennetonesque counterfeit multiculturalism.

You can keep it. For the record, I'm not that crazy about NASCAR either.


  1. :Signs in agreement: lol great last paragraph.

  2. Well, I've finally found your flaw! ;)

    For jingoism and cheap beer, soccer stands in awe of the NFL. Ground aquisition by juiced-up homicidal maniacs cheered on my brainless hotties jumping up and down--and going down. All of this sponsored by every corporate sucker of satan's cock beer companies.

    The real reason soccer isn't taking off here is partly because of commercialism--I can't support a team called The Red Bulls. I mean, really, I'm gonna scream for my team when it's named after caffienated urine? The other reason, and most important one is good old American xenophobia. We didn't create it. We didn't perfect it. SO fuck it.

    Unfortunately, despite what the haters say, it has been growing in popularity steadily since the 70's. The fact that there are American players in the British premiership league speaks volumes about the evolution.

    And finally; Glenn Beck!! Are you fucking kidding me? Was he crying when he was talking about it? That man needs a maximum-security cell block ass raping. What a fucking waste of space.

    You, however, are wonderful. J'dore.

  3. I knew you'd find a flaw eventually. ;) I'm flattered. J'adore x2. Football blows chunks, the only sports team I'll root for is the Yankees, everyone else can essentially suck it.

  4. Ah, sweet redemption. My beloved Yankees! Baseball and Football(european). My only sports. Everything else is Baudelaire, Morrissey and random other kinds of half-faggy crap that envelops my head.

  5. I like the same half-faggy crap so it works out. :)